Have you ever noticed that foods you loved when you were younger just aren’t the same when you get older? As a kid and teenager, I probably could have singlehandedly kept the flavored cream cheese industry in business. Over the last few years, however, either the cream cheese has changed or I have. The texture feels kind of slimy and plastic-y (for lack of a better adjective) and I have a hard time finding my beloved whipped chive onion cream cheese. Luckily, it’s super easy to make your own deli-style whipped cream cheese at home, just like the schmears you used to get at bagel shops in the ’90s when bagels and Snackwells were health food. You can leave this perfectly fluffy, spreadable concoction plain or add in your favorite mix-ins (I’ve included some of my favorites). I store it in these deli containers–a 16 ounce container will more or less hold one whole recipe, or you can split the flavors into the smaller 8-ounce containers. You’ll need 2 8-ounce packages of slightly softened full-fat cream cheese (I’m not typically a brand snob, but Philadelphia is the gold standard. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any when I made this.) You’ll also need a tiny bit of sparkling water (use the rest for Italian sodas or soak your apples in it to keep them from going brown!) and any flavor mix-ins. I know it sounds weird to add sparkling water, but it helps make (and keep) your whipped cream cheese light, fluffy, and spreadable, even after it’s been in the fridge.
Place the cream cheese blocks in the stand of your stand mixer. Using the wire whisk attachment, beat on the highest speed possible for a total of about 5 minutes. During the first few minutes, you will need to stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl. Eventually, it will start to be light and airy and look like frosting.
Add the sparkling water and continue beating for about 20 seconds. If desired, add mix-ins (see below).
Immediately transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate at least 30 minutes before serving.
Store in the fridge for 3-5 days.
Spread on toasted bagels, use it to make tortilla pinwheels, or with this cream cheese and veggie toast.
